Traffic Fun

The Language of the Horn, long since a lost art in the United States so consumed with road rage and distracted drivers, is alive and well in Israel. The drivers here seem particularly invested in getting from here to there with the fewest distractions as possible and with a great deal of focus, speed, agility and a bit of drama.   I saw some of this last February, but truth be told, we really didn’t have time to enjoy the subtleties of everyday life behind the wheel.  

I remember when I was learning to drive, the horn was not just for blaring along with a rude gesture and perhaps peppered with scintillating insults, questioning intelligence, driving skill, or perhaps paternity.  The horn was an elegant accessory, used to share information with other drivers, like, it’s your turn, or don’t back into me I’m right behind you.  A gentle tap, a mild reminder, big blares were saved for “HOLY MOLEY, STOP!!!”

In Israel, the horn is more than an accessory.  I’m passing you on the right, or the left, or move over because I am passing you and there isn't enough room to pass, or I’m coming around a blind corner and you need to know I’m coming (I actually like that one the best, it actually came in handy already) or I know you’re a bus but I can fit in that space and you can’t.   Today I saw an exchange that went something like: Beep. I see you’re indicating your intention to leave that parking space.  Beep: I’m still waiting, are you serious about leaving or are you toying with me?  Longer beep: Ok, I’m behind you waiting for the space you’re leaving. Double beep: Well? Sustained blare: Ok move it or lose it buddy.  I have no idea what the guy in the parking space with the active blinking light was thinking, but the waiting guy finally gave up.

And then there is the random, I just need to blow my horn because traffic hasn't moved for 15 minutes. I saw that one day as I walked to the office.  The light was red, there was no place to go, when the woman in the car I was walking past laid a good long blast on the traffic in front of her.  I had to look.  She was directly behind the car ahead of her and by that I mean there was no discernible distance between her and the next car.  That car was about a half car length from the car ahead and the next car was, a car length from the bus ahead of it. (Pretty much an unheard of waste of space)  As I turned back to resume my walk, she let loose with another blast.   I have no idea if she was frustrated? Late? Or offended by the space between cars, her face gave nothing away and there were no gestures. 

Oh and I can’t forget cab chatter.  Cab driving by the bus stop, small tap, implied, “Hey, need a cab?”  Slows down, longer but not long beep, “Really lady, you need a cab?” Slows to a crawl, another beep, driver tries to make eye contact, and perhaps calls out Taxi?

Driving is a cultural statement here. The honking and the waving, the gestures that I’m uncomfortable recognizing, the comments I only understand because of the body language and tone of voice, makes traffic watching a pretty enjoyable past time.   Maybe I just don’t get out in big city traffic enough.  I know NYC, Houston, LA, Boston and a host of other cities in the States have crazy driver cultures that are distinct to their local drivers, like Massachusetts drivers never look to the right or the left, they just move forward.

And for those of you who just can’t wait to get your horn on?  How about this for a little help?

Yes, there is a warning light before the green so you can beep BEFORE the green, letting those ahead know that, indeed, you have someplace you need to be and it is not here.

To be fair, I’ve not heard the sound of screeching  brakes though I’ve seen brakes used quite effectively, I haven’t seen an accident, although I’m sure there have been some, and I must say, the cars are in general, dent and scrape free, so the drivers are doing something right.  It would appear the keener focus, more attention to the actual driving, a good thing is after all.

I’ve driven in Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Okinawa, Texas, Illinois, Florida, California, Nevada, and cross country several times. I drove competitively and have the trophies to prove my prowess behind the wheel.  But in Israel?  I think I’ll sit this one out, at least for a while.   

Oh wait, here’s my bus!